As a prenatal yoga teacher and birth doula (in training), recently I have been surrounded by the wisdom and joy of mothers. In honor of Mother’s Day, Mandala Reflections is happy to share one mom’s perspective on what it’s like being a mother and readjusting to life around a baby. Like many people who frequent Mandala Reflections, Amy is a person who lives life fully and holistically. As a school counselor, photographer, yogini, foodie, and garden enthusiast, Amy has many topics she could write about, but this time she wanted to talk about moms and motherhood. For more of Amy’s writing, do check out her blog, A Little September Love.
Happy Mother’s Day! This day has always held a special and bittersweet place in my heart. It not only reminds me of the mom that I miss every day, but it also reminds me of how truly blessed I am to have had lots of “mamas” in my life. Being pregnant the past year has made me especially grateful for the presence of these fabulous examples of mothers. As I continue to embark upon my own adventure as Finn’s mom, I am reminded daily of all the wisdom and love these ladies have shared with me!
It’s funny for me to think back to last Mother’s day…oh I so remember it. I was just coming to grips with the biggest surprise of my life; I was going to be a mom. We had breakfast at the Good Day Café, and I was desperately trying to conceal my morning sickness as I choked down some oatmeal (their fabulous eggs Benedict just wasn’t going to work that morning). I hid my Sea-bands and brushed off the “when are you going to put a car seat in the back of that thing?” comment, referring to the fact that we just traded our Jeep in for a shiny new station wagon. Little did Mamasa know that she was about to become a grandma.
I’d be lying if I said that I was thrilled when I found out about Finn. Thrilled is not the exact word I would use, more like shocked. And after taking 5 (yep count them) pregnancy tests, I shed some tears and grieved that my fabulous, newlywed life was about to totally change. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always wanted to be a mom, however I thought that I would maybe be ready in like 5 years…oops. Apparently my husband, Barrett and I need a little refresher course in sex-ed. (But that’s another story.) So slowly, and I mean slowly–I warmed up to the idea of my soon-to-be motherhood, and by about mid-October, I was finally feeling excitement about my pending arrival. Finn was set to make his debut on Christmas day, and he sure did.
Life has been a whirlwind since then. I’m desperately trying to figure out balance and realigning my priorities. You see, having a baby changes everything…literally EVERYTHING! Finn’s presence has been a welcome kick in the ass, forcing me to really figure out what I want to do with my life. Figuring life out is an ongoing dialogue in my head, and as I continually explain to my sweet and thankfully, extremely understanding husband, the ideas just keep coming. I want to be a mama, a school counselor, a swim coach, a yoga teacher, a writer, a blogger, a photographer and in the meantime, I’d love to conquer the constant flow of laundry and actually finish a book that I start. Having a baby has continued to push my creative button and as much as I resist and try to suppress it in an effort to be practical, my urge to be creative is now stronger than ever! I believe this urge has something to do with realigning priorities and wanting to make sure that the time I spend away from Finn is spent on something that I’m extremely passionate about. So, where does that lead? Well, for now, I decided I am going to try to master the manual settings of my SLR camera this summer and take a few photography classes. I also hope to make a commitment to write a daily blog post–come and visit if you’d like. So at least for this moment, this is the path that life has me on. It is incredible to witness the changes that have happened within me and with my life over the past year, and yet it has been just as wonderful to see how I have stayed the same. But most of all, on this Mother’s Day, I am excited to say I am embracing my sweet surprise and welcoming the holiday celebration with joy and gratitude.
In closing I must say thank you, to Lisa for being the bravest step-mom I’ve ever known, to Nana for having a daughter named my mom, to all of my aunties, you have loved me like your own daughter, and to my mama friends, thank you for reminding me that even if we’re moms and life is a little different now we are still so much the same. Also, to Netty, you are the best doctor ever and an even better mom. And to the future mom’s in my life, what a wild and wonderful ride you’re in for some day, and most importantly I want to thank my angel of a mom, for teaching me everything in life that’s important. I hope that I’m making you proud doing what you did so well, loving my sweet baby while cramming 10 pounds of life into a 5 pound bag. My heart is so full this Mother’s Day!